Collegewise

Putting college interviews in perspective

The first step to having a great college interview is to relax.  And the best way to do that is to recognize that the interview is the least important part of the process.

Interviews aren’t unimportant; you’re sitting face-to-face with another human being to talk about your college future. But as long as you’re engaged, mature and you don’t say anything stupid like, “I did community service because my mom thought it would help me get into your school,” it’s unlikely that anything you say will be held against you in the office of admission.

Colleges have three years' worth of information in your file, with transcripts and grades, lists of activities and awards, essays and letters of recommendation from your teachers.  A college interview is just a little snapshot from one meeting.  It’s not trivial, but good or bad, your interview isn’t going to trump the high school career you’ve summed up in your application.

So relax.  Have a good conversation and be yourself.  If you can just be a mature kid who’s pleasant to talk to, you’ll do just fine.  And if you want a little more advice, check out our college interview video here.  Good luck! 

Rejection just means redirecting

Last year, I wrote about an idea Arun and I had to present our college essay workshop at the big annual NACAC conference with two particular admissions officers we really like and respect.  We got them on board and polished every word of our session proposal before we submitted it to the conference planning committee.  And then we got rejected. 

Like a “No” letter from a college, the email that we got told us that there were just too many good sessions proposed from qualified presenters.  It turned out to be a good reminder to walk our own Collegewise talk.

College rejections can feel bitterly personal, but they’re not.  We tell students (and their parents) to maintain their perspective and not to treat a rejection like a tragedy or a miscarriage of justice.  That advice turns out to be much easier to give than it is to follow.   But still, we followed it.  We were miffed for a day and wondered how they could have possibly rejected us (“Who could do this better than us??”).   Then we moved on and even laughed about it.  One of the admissions officers we recruited ribbed us for “failing to get him a gig.”  

We also tell kids that one dream school doesn’t get to decide whether or not you have four years of amazing professors, interesting students, phenomenal personal growth and plenty of college fun (Harvard only gets to decide whether or not you do those things at Harvard.)  If we really wanted to share our workshop with counselors, we didn’t need one particular organization to say yes.  We just had to redirect and find another way. 

So I proposed the session myself—and it was accepted—at nine different NACAC affiliate conferences.  Arun and I both did workshops for English teachers at local high schools.  I published a book about how high school teachers and counselors can help their students with college essays.  And Arun ended up speaking at NACAC in a different session about Asian American students and college admissions. 

Most rejections don’t stop you from doing anything—they just make you redirect.  You can still go to the prom with somebody else, get a job someplace else, go to a different college or do a presentation at a different conference.  Don’t give one person, boss, committee or panel all the power.  If they say no, accept it, redirect, and move on.

How is college life going?

It’s that time of year when our Collegewise counselors email their former students who are now in college to find out how things are going.  We ask them to tell us about their college lives, what they’re up to, and to send us a picture showing us how they’re spending their time.  It’s not just good college research for us (college kids are better than any website or guidebook if you want to know about their school).  Not all that long ago, these students were researching schools with us, filling out applications, writing essays, and worried about who might say yes.  That's all behind them now, and it's fun for our counselors to hear how their college lives are going.

The best thing about reaching out to our former students is the near universal reminder that college kids are happy kids no matter where they go.  Not all of those students are attending the college that was their first choice back in high school.  But like romantic rejection, college rejection eventually goes away.  There’s too much to do, too much to be excited about on a college campus to dwell on who said no. 

If you’re starting the college search process right now, I know it might seem like USC or Duke or Brown is the only college where you could ever be happy.  It’s not necessarily a bad thing to fall in love with a dream school, especially if it keeps you engaged and excited about your college process.  

But try to remember that no matter what happens, this is all going someplace good.  You’re going to get into college.  You’re going to move into a dorm and meet new friends and take classes you actually want to take.  You’re bound to have a good report for anyone who checks in to see how your college life is going, whether or not your school is a famous one.  

Five guaranteed college admissions strategies

There are no magic formulas that will guarantee your admission to the school of your choice.  But there are things you can do that will always make you more competitive.  Here are five college admissions strategies that will make you a stronger, savvier applicant regardless of where you apply.

1. Seek information and advice from people who know what they’re talking about.
High school counselors, admissions officers, and good private counselors know more about how to get into college than any of your friends or neighbors do.  Who you ignore is just as important as who you listen to.

2. Take challenging classes and do your best. 
Before anything else, college is school.  Prepare for it by taking challenging courses and working hard without sacrificing sleep or sanity.  It’s OK to have an occasional late night, but if you’re up until 2 a.m. regularly just struggling to keep up, scale back.

3. Find activities you love, and make an impact while you do them.   
There is no magic list of activities that look “good” to colleges.  Whether it’s marching in the band, learning karate, collecting stamps or quarterbacking the football team, do it because you enjoy it.  Bring the kind of effort and attitude with you that will make people notice that you’re there contributing. 

4. Be a good kid.
Some of the highest-achieving and successful students get mediocre letters of recommendation because they’re arrogant, difficult, or just not all that nice to people.  The golden rule applies here.  Be the kind of student, son/daughter and friend that you’d like to have.  Remember that just being a nice, respectful, polite, responsible kid never goes out of style, even when you apply to college.

5.  Apply to the right colleges.
Don’t apply to colleges just because they’re famous or because they landed a good spot on the rankings list this year.  Think about why you’re going to college in the first place and what you hope or expect to gain from your time there.  Then pick schools that fit you where you think you can make those visions happen.

Don’t run your club like a big business

A lot of high school clubs and organizations run like big businesses—everyone goes to meetings, a few key people actually make decisions, a few other people actually do the work (it’s not always the same people who make the decisions) and ultimately, not that much actually gets done.  It looks like this:  

A French Club with 20 members is planning a bake sale fundraiser for next month.  The club meets once a week for six weeks to talk about the fundraiser, update the group on the progress, and delegate tasks.  Ultimately, 3-4 people end up doing most of the work because there’s just not enough work for all 20 people to do.

If those six lunchtime meetings were each 30 minutes, that’s not three hours of meetings to run the bake sale.  That’s actually 60 hours of meetings because 20 people each gave up time to be there.  It’s hard to imagine they’re going to sell enough croissants to justify that many meetings.  

What if, instead, the group did this:

1. Come up with four or five or twelve projects that might help the club in addition to the bake sale.  Accept ahead of time that not all of them are going to be successes.  But a few of them almost certainly will be.

2. Break up into smaller teams. If the bake sale really only needs 3-4 people to make it happen, recruit an interested team of 3-4 and put one person in charge.  Then let them get to work.  They can meet if they want to meet, but there’s no reason to pull the other 16 people into a room at one time to hear their updates.  Then do the same thing for the other projects.

Now you’ve got 5-6 focused teams, each working on an interesting project where they get to make real contributions instead of just sitting in meetings.

How much more would your club get done?  How much more engaged would your members be? 

Your club or organization isn’t a big business.  Big businesses are bloated, slow to change, filled with titles and meetings and middle-managers.  Be like a small business--agile, quick to give responsibility to someone who wants it, and able to try new things without worrying that one failure will ruin youl. 

For counselors: How to get students and parents to read what you email

I send a monthly “Collegewise Parent Email Newsletter” to families in our program who ask to receive it.  And our counselors occasionally send group emails to all of their students with important reminders, especially when it wouldn’t make sense to email each student individually to say exactly the same thing.   I thought I’d share a couple things we’ve learned through trial and error about how to get more of our families to actually read what we send.  I’m hoping it might be useful to high school counselors or other private counselors who are taking the time to send good information and would like even more of your students and parents to take the time to read it.

1. Send emails worth reading.

The best way to train people to read your emails is to send them emails worth reading.  I’ve made the mistake of sending out a monthly newsletter just because it was time to send it out, not because I had something particularly profound to say.   That’s always a mistake.  Every email you send trains people to either look forward to or ignore future emails from you.  So never send an email just so you can say you sent something—send it when you have something important or timely to share.  Nobody’s going to complain that you aren’t emailing them often enough.  And if they do complain, you must be doing something right—your emails are so good that people miss them when they don’t arrive.

2. Get permission.

You can send out something with great information your families can’t get anywhere else—but emails that people didn’t ask to get always have a faint whiff of spam no matter how great the content is.  So I only send our parent newsletter to families who specifically ask to receive it.  We let them register for it on our enrollment form.  And whenever I reference “Those of you who get my newsletters may remember…” during seminars, I always get a few more families who ask to be put on the list.   Making people ask means you’re always sending to people who want to hear from you.  And if they don’t read or like what you send, then you know it’s time to come up with a different strategy.    

3. Write for selfish readers.

Email is a selfish business—we all read messages from the angle of “What’s in it for me?”  If you send your freshmen the same email you send seniors with advice about writing college essays, your freshmen will delete it.  And worse, they’ll be less likely to open your next message.  So you really have two options.  One is to segment your audience so different groups get specific emails meant only for them.  If you can do that, great.  But that’s not an easy thing for a counselor with a large caseload to do.  The other option is to organize your content by group.  Write a short paragraph for each grade level (and let parents have their own paragraph) so people can skip what doesn’t apply to them.  If it’s a newsletter, write the short summary paragraphs and then insert a link that will take interested readers to a more thorough write up.  The key is to let people find the information that matters to them fast.  If they can’t, they’re going to delete it.  

4. Be brief.

If we send our students a two-page email with all of our best advice about how to start the Common Application, most of them won’t read it.  It’s not our fault (or theirs).  Long emails or newsletters don’t get read because kids and parents are suffering from e-information overload.  The best way to fight through the clutter is to keep emails to one screen (no need to scroll through to read them) and share only what’s essential.  You don’t have to list all 30 of the new scholarships your office has applications for.  Just mention that you have applications for 30 scholarships totaling over $40,000 in potential free money for college—the interested students will notice that.  Get right to the point and make it forcefully. 

5. Find a good subject line.

We’ve all spent the time to write a great piece we then introduced with a subject line like, “October Newsletter.”  A generic subject line screams, “generic email.”  Your subject line should entice your audience to open the message.  So give them a taste of what’s to come, but leave some room for appropriate intrigue.  “7th semester transcript and midyear report reminder” isn’t going to make people stop, click, and read.  But, “Seniors, your college apps are incomplete without these final forms…” does a better job.

Which semester is the most important?

Want to know which semester of high school is the most important?  This semester—that’s the most important one.

Whether you’re a freshman or a senior, in the fall or in the spring, the current semester is always the most important semester for college admissions.  Last semester is gone.  You can’t change what’s happened in the past.  And next semester isn't here yet.  The semester you're in today is what you should be focused on.  What you do this term, how hard you study this week, whether or not you participate and ask questions in class today—that’s where you can make a huge difference and change your potential college outcomes.  Now is what matters most.     

Make your current semester the best one yet, and only good things will happen.

How many cups of coffee a day can you sell?

There’s a 7 Eleven in Long Island that sells a company record of over 2500 cups of coffee a day.  Their secret is a cashier named Dolores who’s been there 18 years and greets all of her customers by name.  There are plenty of other places to get coffee, but Starbucks doesn’t have Dolores. 

It’s important to remember that you don’t have to be the star of the softball team, the lead in the school play, the president of the student council, the editor of the school newspaper or the first chair violinist in the orchestra to be important to the group and impressive to colleges.  Just bring a great work ethic and attitude with you.  Use whatever role you’re in as a chance to do your best work.  Don’t just go through the motions and do things so you can list them on your college applications.  Give a good show in whatever you’re doing. 

People around you will notice, and so will colleges. 

Fatherhood vs. the SAT

I learned today that a student I counseled through the college admissions process back in 2001 is now married—he and his wife are expecting their first child. 

Back in high school, he was one of those good students who worried a lot—about his GPA, his SAT scores and whether or not colleges would appreciate the community service he’d done.  He worried about the one B he’d gotten on his report card, whether or not his essays would be good enough, and if the colleges really would be able to decode the complex system of weighted grades his high school used.  He was a good kid who worked hard and wanted to go to a good college.   

How much do you think he’s worrying about those things now?

His grade in Spanish, his SAT score, and whether or not UC Berkeley said yes don’t matter anymore.  That’s all part of his high school past.  He's got bigger things on his mind now, like becoming a parent, navigating fatherhood, and saving for his child’s college education.

There’s nothing wrong with a student or parent worrying (a little) during the college admissions process.  Going to college is something that carries enough weight to deserve a little worry now and then.

But you can manage those worries a lot better if you remember just how insignificant most of them seem one day.

There’s a reason nobody’s ever said:

“My wife gave birth to our first son today.  I really wish I’d gotten a higher score on the math section of the SAT back in high school.”

There are good practices, but no maps

A lot of students are looking for a roadmap, a step-by-step plan that will get you into the college of your choice.  But that’s like looking for instructions telling you exactly what to do to have a great marriage.  There are lots of good practices and mistakes you can avoid that will improve your chances for success.  But there’s no roadmap.  No two couples who’ve been happily married for fifty years took exactly the same steps to get where they are, and no two students at a given college got in by doing exactly the same things.

A lot of the stress, confusion and frustration families feel surrounding college admissions comes from their search for the roadmap.  From picking which high school to attend, to choosing classes, to selecting test prep tutors and pursuing activities and making decisions about what to do over the summer, they want to know the exact steps to take to get them to their desired destination.

If there were such a roadmap, somebody would have decoded and profited from it already.  Read the colleges’ websites to see what they recommend.  Talk with your high school counselor about the colleges that interest you and what you could do to make yourself a competitive applicant.  That’s where you’ll find the good practices that will make sure you get in someplace that’s right for you and are ready to succeed once you get there.  

But don’t ask, “What should I do to get into Stanford.”  That’s a roadmap question, and nobody ever got into a dream school by following a map. 

What about saving for college?

The most important college financial planning strategy a family can employ is to save as much as possible.  The more cash you have on hand, the less you’ll have to rely on financial aid, the less you’re likely to have to borrow, and the more control you’ll have over your student’s college costs.  But where should you put the money?  Should it be in the parents’ name or the student’s name?  Is it worth it to save just so colleges can take the money, while families who don’t save get financial aid?  All are good, fair questions.

The college savings section of finaid.org (I have no connection to it--it's just hands-down the most comprehensive and well respected source of free college financial planning advice) includes advice on deciding how much to save, common myths about saving, the best investment strategies, and the advantages/disadvantages of the most common college savings plans (it even comes right out and explains why the 529 college savings plans are the best).

If you need advice about saving for college, start there.  You’ll be glad you did.

If you want to make sure you get a job after college…

In today’s economy, a lot of families are understandably worried about students’ job prospects after college.  I constantly see articles online about the majors with the best job placement and highest starting salary (guess what—none of them seem to agree).  

If you really want to improve your odds of a successful job search after college, here are five things I’d start learning how to do in high school.  Pick a few (or try them all).  Then use the opportunities in your college years to get even better at them. 

1. Learn to sell.
A lot of people think selling is icky.  But if you’re really good at sales and your track record shows it, you’re always going to have a job.  The best sales people don’t cost money for a company—they make money for the company.  If you work on the school newspaper or on the yearbook staff, take on the job of securing advertising.  If your club needs donated goods for the annual fundraiser, make that your job.  And don’t you dare let your parents sell the programs for the lacrosse team or the candy bars for the student council for you.  Get out there and sell them yourself.  Selling isn't easy.  It’s hard work and it can be demoralizing.  That’s what makes the people who are good at it so valuable.

2. Learn to write really well.
Writing is now many peoples’ preferred method of communication.  You simply can’t afford not to be good at it.  Clear writing is evidence of clear thinking.  If you can write a persuasive cover letter to HR, you’ll stand out during the job search.  And you’ll always bring something of value to whatever company you work for when you can write a convincing email to a reporter or some punchy copy for a company newsletter.

3. Learn accounting.
Do you like numbers?  Take a business accounting class at your local community college, one that teaches you how to read a profit and loss statement.  As a bonus, try to find a course that teaches you how to make and manage a budget for a small business.  It's hard to envision a place of work that doesn't have to manage money, pay employees, and make sure their tax returns are accurate.  All of those things depend on good accounting.

4. Learn how to keep computers working.  
If you can diagnose and fix computers, servers, and even networks, that’s a great line to have on your resume even if you’re looking for a job at an art gallery.  Sure, large companies have dedicated IT staffs to keep things working.  But at smaller companies, the one worker who actually knows how to diagnose problems and fix them, even though it’s not her job, is bringing a lot of value to the workplace.  She's also saving the company potentially thousands of dollars in costs for outsourced IT support.  

5. Learn how to do good work.
The best way to get a good job is to be really good at your last job.  And it’s surprising how many college grads have never worked before and think that a college degree alone will make them stand out.  I think every high school kid should get a part-time job at some point before you graduate.  Not a fancy job filing at your mom’s law firm, but a regular teenage-kid-job like bagging groceries or flipping burgers or selling clothes at the mall.  You learn a lot about what you’re good (and not good) at, and what it takes to be successful.  Thrive at one job and you’ll have an advantage when you look to move on to your next one.  Have a string of successes by the time you graduate from college and you’ll be ahead of the competition.  

Now, before you write off any of those as not being applicable to your field of interest, I’d just remind you that people who make yoga mats for a living still need to sell them.  Computer engineers still need to write emails and even proposals.  The head of a non-profit agency needs to know how to read a financial statement and balance a budget.  Anyone who uses a computer would benefit from knowing how to keep it working properly.  And since everyone leaves college hoping to get a job, previous work experience benefits every college grad.

Which tests to take and when to take them

My friend Paul Kanarek at The Princeton Review just wrote a piece to help students decide which standardized tests to take and when to take them.  As is typically the case with anything Paul writes:

1) It's excellent.

2) I had to look up at least one word to find out what it meant.

He gave me permission to share it, and you can download your copy here.  

How to train people to listen to you

When I was a freshman in college at my first official fraternity meeting, one of the older guys (who’s now a pediatrician), said to me:

“Kevin, I want you to notice something.  There are some guys here who always have to say something about every issue we talk about.  Watch what happens whenever they talk.”

The lesson became obvious pretty fast.  Whenever the talkers spoke, everyone just tuned out.  The talkers had trained the group not to listen to them. 

The guys people paid attention to were those who listened more than they talked, who weren’t afraid to contribute but did it when they really had something to say that was different from what had already been said.  Whenever they talked, everyone tuned in and the room got quiet fast.  And almost without exception, what they had to say was more insightful. 

It's fine to answer a question in class and be wrong.  It's fine to suggest something in a meeting that gets shot down.  Never be afraid to contribute.

But don't become one of those people who talks so much that you train people not to listen to you.  The more you listen, the more they'll listen back.  I still forget that sometimes, and it’s one of the best lessons I took from college. (Thank you, Dr. Mike).

Why Harvard is like the Boston Marathon

Every marathon is exactly the same distance—26.2 miles.  And yet many hard core marathoners covet the Boston Marathon more than any other. It’s not because Boston’s is notably prettier, more fun, more challenging, or otherwise better than New York’s or LA’s or Chicago’s marathons (all of which draw runners from all over the world).  Boston’s secret is simple—they reject runners who aren’t fast enough.  

Hal Higdon, longtime Runner's World magazine contributor and the author of the best-selling "Marathon: The Ultimate Training Guide," explains the Boston Marathon’s allure in the documentary “The Spirit of the Marathon.”

When I first started running Boston we had, I think, 150 runners in the race.  Gradually through the 1960s, the numbers of runners started to grow.  By the end of that decade, I think we were up to about 1,000.  And they sought a way to limit the field, and they put on standards that began with, I think, you had to have run a previous marathon in four hours.  That, they figured, would limit the field.  And then they started cutting it down to 3 ½ hours, 3 hours, and the more they raised the challenge, the more interested runners became in meeting that challenge.  So, without realizing it, they had made their race much more popular by making it more difficult to get into.”

That’s surprisingly similar to the allure of the most prestigious colleges.

Telling lots of people, "You're out" just makes more people want in.   It’s true for night clubs, dinner parties, colleges, and even marathons.  I know that not every college is the same.  I know that people who go to Harvard or Yale or Duke will tell you that they couldn’t imagine going to school anywhere else, just like runners who finish Boston will tell you nothing could match that experience.  But whether you run a “sub-3” marathon in Boston or Toledo doesn’t matter—you’re pretty damn fast.  And if you work hard, find subjects that interest you, make contributions to activities you enjoy, treat people right, and keep doing those things once you get to college, you’re going to be a pretty damn successful college graduate no matter where you went to school.